coffee and cake @ 8

“A Letter to Love”

Love.

I hid behind you for so long.

You've been my shield

My armor.

And the closer I stood to your edge

the less I saw the need to reason.

Because you were the answer

You were the need.

You were the reason.

You were the backbone of my foundation.

And so long as I felt you,

So long as I counted upon you

to be there

-and there you were-

I knew everything would be alright.

I had to believe it because if I didn't

Then what the hell was I living for?

I hid behind you

because behind you

nothing could go wrong

and everything felt right

and my strength not once faltered.

I never declined,

never stepped back

I saw you for all you are--

Beautiful.

I won't see you as anything else.

My tears were for your cause.

I never dared to face anything without you.

I knew once I did,

I'd have to leave you behind,

but what could I do without love?

Because this is it,

and I know it.

This is the one moment

I have to be least myself

because I am most myself

when I am with you.

When you are always one step ahead of me,

I can lie back

and dream in your shadow

or play in the warmth of your sun.

When you are beside me,

I can grab hold of your hand

and still know there's hope beside me.

But when you are behind me,

I fear loss.

I fear death in a wasteland.

I fear the sky falling to black

and the rivers running dry.

I fear nothing.

Not in that there is nothing I will fear

but in that there will be nothing after you.

When I am out from behind my armor,

will the wind sway me to my knees?

Will I crumble like the dirt beneath me?

Will I loathe every sight with ease?

Will the sun dampen my day,

and the moon sour my sleep?

Will the silence get old...

Will I find my tears an ugly, wretched crime?

Out from behind your shield,

out from behind your beautiful succor,

out from behind the song that changed my life.

Out

into

the rain.

Love,

Of course you think all you need is you.

Please, dear God, make me think it, too.