Today.

 

There’s a haze and no halo around my future now.

The sun beats its rays through my bedroom window

And I turn away from the waiting world.

I need another moment or two 

Before I let it in.

 

Up, I swing my legs against my bed’s wooden frame

Down, my heart flutters away,

Flees my retreating form.

I don’t want to get up,

But what choice do I have?

 

Into the bath

Away from the world

A moment or two to myself

Hot is the water

Cold are your words

Forever reverberating in my mind.

Cold is my body.

Alone.

Unloved.

Untouched

By you.

 

Dare I emerge once again

Into the waiting world…

Do my own legs

Even wish 

To hold me?

 

Wipe

Away the steam.

Only to find

Two marbles

Where life used to be.

Two eyeless dots

Who have no idea

what to do

With the world at hand.

They don’t want it.

They don’t need it

All they had, wanted, and needed

Ran down the drain.

 

 

 

And my heart continues to wash away

Like layers of sand escaping the shore

And my mind floats away with the ocean

Then drowns at the bottom floor.

 

As I look across to the sunset,

A sense of calm falls on everything but me

So I,

I give a sigh

And curse the sky 

The sky for mocking me.

 

And down, beats the night.

Up reach the stars…

Up, my eyes fly to make a wish.

 

I want it.

I know it.

 

I need it

Again.